Self-Respect, Clear Communication, Energy Awareness, and having a Support
Community are the 4 pillars to creating healthy boundaries for your emotional and
energetic well-being.
If you are someone who struggles with this, adopting affirmations that help you with
this goal can be helpful. Examples include:
“My boundaries are an act of self-respect”
“I can love others and still choose to love myself”
“I choose what serves me”
“I protect my peace”
These words when spoken and written daily help us to move beyond the conditioning
of people-pleasing and into an individual who communicates their needs clearly and
can say “NO” without guilt.
Some believe healthy boundaries will disrupt family dynamics or connection, but they
do the opposite. Healthy boundaries protect connection; they do not prevent it. When
we recognize emotional exhaustion in ourselves and choose to protect our emotional
and energetic space, we are more likely to carry less resentment and/or guilt, which in
turn protects our health and serves as an example for others who may also struggle
with people pleasing.
Unhealthy boundaries are driven by fear and/or guilt. In return, needs are ignored, and
resentment builds, we are often times we are left completely drained in the process.
When we embrace healthy boundaries, we are supporting mutual responsibility and
respect. We are valuing rest and we are being honest about our needs. As a result, we
can learn to support others without abandoning ourselves.
Here are some things you can practice saying to yourself that may help the next time a
people pleasing situation comes up.
“I care about this, but I am not available right now or tonight”
“I can help for 20 minutes, but I cannot take this on”
“I need more time to think before I commit”
“That does not work for me. Here is what I can do.”
Finding the verbiage is often what most people struggle with. The more you practice
language that empowers you in protecting your peace, the more you can shift into a
person who adopts an attitude of compassion for their needs vs. overextending.
For our Alight Wellness VIP members, we will be covering this subject and practicing it
as a group at our September community coaching. Message Chris if you would like to
set your intention and confirm your attendance to our next class.